To my boys

Today I am praying for you.  I am thinking about a time in the near future when you won't be chasing each other around the yard and climbing into my bed in the early morning to start the day with cuddles. A time when you will be men.  White American men.  Because of this-where you were born and the color of your skin- many doors will be open to you, and you alone.  And so today, I'm praying.  Praying that you will recognize the arbitrary nature of privilege, that you will see those open doors not as a right, but an opportunity.  I want you to walk in to those exclusive places, places that are barred to a woman like me, or your friend in the wheelchair.  I'm praying that when you do, when you take your seat at the table, you will start a revolution that changes this world from the inside out.  I want you to teach inclusion and love, create opportunities and throw the doors wide open.  I'm praying that your lives will intersect with people who are different from you, and you'll have the chance to embrace and celebrate the human spectrum.  Because they will judge you and assess you and rank you based on your outside (all the things about yourself that you can't control), I'm praying for your insides, the part you get to choose.  I'm praying that you will use your strength to protect.  I'm praying that courage will come to you when you need it most.  I'm praying that you will think for yourselves.  I'm praying that your hearts will break when you see injustice, and you'll turn heart break into action.  I'm praying that you'll measure success in the number of lives you change.

And I'm praying that right now, today, your dad and I are preparing and equipping you for what lies ahead.  I'm praying that I will remember the big picture and not be caught up in making sure you wash your hands and tie your shoes (those things are important and worth doing, but they aren't the most important thing I can teach you).  That matching socks and washing dishes won't distract me from the job that matters most- being your mom.  Your dad and I want so badly to get it right, this job of being your parents.  We want to avoid the mistakes our parents made with us (I know, your grandparents are AMAZING people, and you love them more than us sometimes, but once they were stressed out parents and occasionally they went about things the wrong way), because we know what our baggage looks like, and we don't want to see you boys struggling to carry this with you through life.  But we will make mistakes too, probably different ones, and I'm praying that you will be able to overcome whatever wrongs we inflict on you.  When I studied history in college, when I learned of the atrocities that human beings are capable of committing against each other, I couldn't believe how much is actually carried out by the ordinary masses.  That a handful of evil people can lead entire tribes or even countries to annihilate one another. And I have to believe that people capable of being swayed to violence and hatred can also be swayed to love and compassion...but someone has to do the leading.  Boys, you could be the ones.  You could change the world.  I love you.  I believe in you.