It Will Be Given {it happened on a sunday} day 17

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

I'd heard it before, of course.  What church kid doesn't know the magic verse that makes God sound like Santa Claus?  I thought it meant that if I did all the things that I was taught were important (no swearing, no smoking, NO SEX), then I could have what I wanted.  That meant independence, an awesome career, wealth and comfort for the rest of my life.

I didn't get any of those things, and I blamed God.  But when I heard this again, now a true believer, now a baptized new creation, I understood it all so differently.  I'd focused on the second half of the sentence, missing the premise.  I had never delighted in the Lord; I'd always seen Him as a gloomy judge and bearer of destruction; at best, an obligation to be filled.  Now I wondered, what would that actually look like?  What would it mean for me to be delighted with God?

The answer was easy once I started looking at God like I looked at my husband.  I loved to spend time with him, I loved to talk with him, I loved to learn more about him.  So I began to do those same things with God.  I have spent hours laying on the couch, or in bed, or in my grassy yard just feeling God's presence.  I talk, I listen, I am filled with joy.  Not once in the past 11 years have I ever doubted that He is there, that He is delighting in me as I am delighting in Him.

When I am upset, when I feel disappointed, when I pull back or turn away, it is also just like my husband.  All I have to do is turn around, put my hand out, and He is there, waiting for me.  There is no such thing as too far gone.  There is never anything I can say that will make Him leave me.  There is no shortcoming too great for Him to continue loving me.  That is delight.

And once I got the hang of delighting myself in the Lord, the desires of my heart came rushing in.  They had nothing to do with a job or a new home or even that independence I once craved so much.  My heart desires freedom for captives.  My heart desires rescue for the hurting.  My heart desires homes and families for every child.  My heart desires peace in our communities, and around the world.  It can be hard some days to see it, but He is there, working on our behalf, providing relief and restoration.  He promises that light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.  His light shone on me, and the darkness was chased out.  Now my heart desires light for everyone else.  And I know He will give it.