What Not to Wear

During that brief period when my family had cable, that magical time when I was home way more, but not too busy with little people and all the clothes they soil throughout the day, I watched a show called "What Not to Wear"...the one where Clinton and Stacy ambush women who are not dressing appropriately, whether they are in a size too small or dressing like a 13 year old prositute or wearing sweatpants to the mall.  They bring all of the woman's clothes to a room, and they make her throw them away.  This was the worst part to watch, as they pulled out her 20 year old tshirts and flannel pj pants and mocked her for having them in her closet.  The woman would try to make a case for why she shouldn't have to get rid of it, and I hoped each time the items would get a reprieve.  What is she supposed to wear around the house on her lazy day?  Is she supposed to wear a pencil skirt and crocodile pumps when she has the flu?  I guess these ladies had committed crimes against high fashion, and this was the punishment that fit.  The woman then had to go out and buy new clothes, following the suggestions and guidelines of the hosts.  Cameras followed her from store to store, as she struggled to break out of her usual practice and find clothes that were acceptable.  I lived in fear that my sister would submit my name to this show, that hidden cameras would record me taking my son to preschool in sweatpants, sitting at the park in my tshirt from the 6th grade (soft as my baby's skin!), and they would descend upon me like jackals and force me to start dressing like the woman I apparently have become.

Thankfully, that never happened, but I find myself thinking of those poor ladies whenever I am in a store trying to buy new clothes.  My eyes are always drawn to the juniors section, to the short shorts and colorful tshirts, and it makes me sad that the added curves of motherhood prevent me from fitting in the sizes offered.  I know I should be looking at the wrap dresses and scarves and tunics in the women's department.  I should be dressing in blazers and silky tops when I pick my son up from school.  I finally stopped putting my hair in pigtails (even though it looks so cute!) when my sister told me this was unacceptable for a 28 year old woman.  She's probably right.

I went to Kohl's yesterday, armed with my birthday gift cards, on a mission to buy new running shoes.  Because the one area I am always trying to keep comfy and stylish is my feet.  I was in luck...they were having a sale on athletic shoes.  I saw so many styles and colors, at really good prices, but sadly, most were only available in a ladies size 6.  I found one pair that I liked and felt cushiony on my feet, and then I looked around the store.  I still had $50 to spend, and I thought I should get something else.  I was drawn to the kids section, and I was reminded of the lady on What Not to Wear who couldn't find anything for herself, but instead perused the children's clothes.  Clinton and Stacy admonished her for not making herself a priority, but I totally get it.  I don't feel like I need new clothes, but my growing boys are in constant need of bigger sizes, new pants, a nice shirt.  And so I spent my remaining gift card on James, purchasing shorts and pjs and an Angry Birds Star Wars tshirt that I know he will love.  I felt great at the register, when the total came to $108, and I had saved $90.  I love that about sales at Kohl's, how you can find everything you need and the prices are ridiculously low.

We are ready for summer now, James in his new size 7 shorts and Winston in his brother's old size 4s.  Michael is just the right size for all the cute outfits Winston wore 3 years ago, and I have a drawer full of warm weather clothes that have been waiting to be worn.  It may be classified as "What Not to Wear", but we'll be happy and comfy!