Senior Citizens

Before I had my first baby, long before I became the Insomni-Mommy, people used to say these awful trite parent catchphrases.  They would tell me "Motherhood is the hardest job you will ever have, but its also the best job ever."  (insert eye roll)  I also heard "My children are the ones teaching ME!" and I thought, you saccharine-filled idiot, how stupid do you have to be to learn something from a child?  They come into the world knowing NOTHING, and its only because of adults that they ever learn to function.  Your kid is probably going to wind up on welfare with morons like you for parents.  This is just one of the misconceptions I had before my own baptism of fire called giving birth.  (Another was, My life isn't going to change that much...but that's another blog for another day)

I think its safe to say I have realized my error and in fact learn something almost daily in this season of raising boys and wiping butts and seeking refuge at the computer, where all of my friends live.  Sometimes its a simple as learning new facts from a book about phases of the moon, something that I'm sure Mr. Morrison covered in 9th grade Earth Science, but I missed because I hated Earth Science and Mr. Morrison by proxy.  Did you know that the cobwebs you find while dusting your house (bi-annually) are the abandoned homes of spiders?  They build a new web every 24 hours, eating all the sticky parts of the old one to provide thread for the new one.  I didn't, until I read it a few years ago in a 30 page book about spiders.  (Because that's what mothers of boys read.  Pinkalicious does not find its way into our bag at the library)

But then there are the big moments, when being a mother challenges very deep prejudices and misconceptions.  When my heart literally grows bigger because of something I witness in my children.  Like today, when we visited Great-Grandpa Fraser at his nursing home.  A little background on me: I don't like old people.  If your response to that is like Sarah's ("My grandparents are the best people I know!"), then to you I say congratulations.  I don't know what that's like.  To me, old people smell and are kind of worthless, and I can't help but think that if they would all just die, our country would make a huge leap forward in civil rights, race relations, female empowerment, etc.  Recently, I was really moved to try to look at the whole of them differently, however, and I thought a good place to start would be within my own family, within my own county.  So I took the two little boys to visit their Great-Grandpa before naptime.  We brought two books and a toy car, and although I was kind of dreading it (because nursing homes equal death to me), Winston and Michael were thrilled to ride an elevator and run down a really long hallway.  I kept waiting for someone to yell at us (another prejudice I have...old people are mean), but everyone we passed smiled and was just thrilled to see the kids.  We walked into Grandpa's room, where he was asleep in his armchair, and Winston woke him up by throwing the books on his lap.  He woke up terrified, not a great start, but quickly recovered and was genuinely happy to see us.  We talked for a bit, and then I asked Winston to read the books with him, which is when my son really turned on the charm.  He smiled, he laughed, he hung over the side of Grandpa's chair.  He read most of the words ("In a People House"), and Grandpa helped him with the ones he didn't know.  I realized, looking at the two of them, that there is a symbiosis between the very old and the very young.  They both need large print to read, and the "outdoor" voice Winston uses all day long probably sounds just audible to Grandpa.  I feel like we filled the room with happiness and vitality for 30 minutes or so, until Michael decided he was done and threw a fit.  But the boys both gave Grandpa a high five and a nice "Goodbye!" and it was back to the car and lights out for us. 

Such a simple errand, but such a big eye-opener.  I realized that I can be a little uncomfortable, just sit back and watch my darling kids run the show.  They entertained, they enchanted, they did all the work.  And what's more, they had a blast.  It was a great way to spend an otherwise crummy rainy morning.  I never wanted to be that person taking her kids to cheer up the old folks...I didn't even want to be that kid when I was younger!  And so I am extremely impressed by my sons and their impervious charm.  I'm glad we did something different, and I'm actually looking forward to going back.