Autism Acceptance

Are you sick of these yet?  Do you feel like sending me some new sheet music so I can play something other than this one note?  I feel that way myself sometimes.  Like, just talk about something else, right?  But just when I start to write a blog about how much I love to binge watch shows on Netflix, my fingers take over and the words come out different.  Because there are other times when I think, Why bother to do this at all if you're not going to do something worthwhile?  If I can't use my words, my blog, my hair to tell people how much I love my kids and how much they should love the kids in their lives, then what am I doing?

You've seen the puzzle pieces, you've read the articles, you wore blue!  You are AWARE of autism.  And, with 1 in 68 children in the US being diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum disorder, how could you not be?  Now that we're all here, it's time to collect your belongings and move on, to that door marked "Acceptance".  Don't just know about autism, ACCEPT it.  Understand that the child you see melting down at the store very well might be suffering a sensory overload, or having difficulty processing the transition from the car to the building.  Realize that the person on their iPad is using that amazing technology as a tool...it enables his family to enjoy dinner at a crowded restaurant, it's teaching him to speak and write, it actually engages a child who might otherwise be withdrawn into himself.  Celebrate when your friend tells you that her 10 year old learned to tie his shoes, even though your own kids mastered that skill at age 5, because development doesn't always come in a straight line.

My family is different from yours...except when we aren't.  We love each other fiercely.  We dance in our living room.  We get on each others' nerves and need time alone to recharge.  My 7 year old has terrible tantrums sometimes, and I am constantly trying new ways to reach him, to help him find his calm.  When I ask him questions, I have to wait patiently for an answer.  Sometimes it takes him years to give it.  He is also gentle and kind.  Did you know that my children only fight with each other about once a week?  That most days, they are in a nice groove, and they give to each other and walk away from each other, that they hold hands without being prompted and sneak into each others' beds to cuddle at night?  Did you know that raising an autistic child has taught me an entirely different way to look at the world, and I'm a better person for it?  Did you know that when you accept someone with a neurological difference, that you start accepting all kinds of other folks: people in wheelchairs, people with Down Syndrome, people with addictions and criminal records and even people who liked the series finale of Lost?  Because the definition of "what matters" and "who is worthy of my time" is completely re-written when you can't project the best image of yourself onto your child.  When you have to accept him for him or lose your mind, because he refuses to be something he's not.  And then you'll be free from that conveyor belt you SO DESPERATELY wanted to live on, and you'll realize it's actually pretty nice here, where time moves at a different speed and success looks so different from how you always saw it.

It's okay if you don't like my son.  Really.  If you spend time getting to know him and decide you just don't care that much about Angry Birds or you like big crowds, it's okay to go in another direction.  Because you took the time.  Because you looked at him and saw another person with feelings and interests and a huge heart.  Because you accepted who he is and didn't try to change him.

Happy April friends.  See you here again next year for Autism Acceptance Month.