Adoption Part 4: Its Final!

So many hurdles to jump, so many forms to fill out, so much time and attention and patience, and now we have made it.  We are ready to adopt the boy who came into our home as an infant and has been here ever since, creating his own special place in each of our hearts.  For us, Chris and I, this different way of adding a family member has been work and waiting and praying and significant.  It has gone so well that we are willing to do it again.  For our boys, James, Winston, and Michael, this whole process has been entirely unremarkable.  A baby came home from the hospital, he lived in our home and wore his brothers' hand-me-downs and learned to feed himself and move around and play with the toys.  For them, this day is just like any other, because Michael has so completely infiltrated our family that there is no reason to question if he belongs here.

We believe in the practice of open adoption, that a child who was not born to us should understand his origins and be able to create relationships with his birth family, if both parties are willing.  We know that he cannot understand these words now, but he will grow up hearing them, and someday he will have questions and need answers.  I am not afraid of that conversation (or plural, as I'm sure it will come up more than once!), just as I am not scared to have "the talk" about sex with my children, because I have the answers, and I know how I feel about the subject matter.  But for now, when it will arise and how it will come to be and the direction it will take are mysteries to me.  I have already imagined about five different scenarios, but the best, and the simplest way I know how to relay it is in these words I wrote in the fall of 2011, when adopting Michael was just a fantasy I indulged in while I held his tiny body close to mine.
  
His birth mother said, "I gave him life and carried him in my body."
His adoptive mommy said, "I gave him a home and carried him in my arms."
His birth father said, "He will look like me when he is a grown man."
His adoptive daddy said, "I will teach him how to be a man."
His birth sisters said, "We came from the same family and you are always in our hearts."
His adoptive brothers said, "We will grow up in the same family and you are always by our sides."

Whenever you feel lonely, or different from the rest, remember we all love you, and know that you are blessed.

Michael, welcome to our family officially. 

Michael and his sister at his birthday party