Every couple of weeks I get to meet with a couple of my friends. I think of these women as "my girls"; they are the ones who have my back, who are admitted into the deepest places of my heart, who lovingly tell me the truth. Last night, we gathered in sweatpants and warm blankets and listened to music and spent some time envisioning our coming month. It is the advent season, the time when we wait expectantly for the arrival of Jesus. And I had to admit to my girls that I'm not excited about Christmas. I'm not feeling hopeful and expectant right now. There is so much ugly, from the petty stress of finding gifts for my loved ones to the brokenness all around. As we listened to the songs of love and peace and victory, I wrote "The world is tearing itself apart". That is the dark place where I found myself.
Then I opened my Bible, flipped to Isaiah and the prophecy of the Messiah. I know in my mind that the Savior has come, but my heart couldn't seem to get on board. Then I read these words: "Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress." (Isaiah 9:1) I was immediately reminded that the Bible is God's Word, the way He speaks to His people across time and space and heavy hearts. I didn't need a Christmas cheerleader to give me a rah, rah speech about carols and lights and togetherness. I needed a reminder that "the people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned."
December and the holiday season is usually a time to look around, to share with those in need. It's when we give Toys for Tots and pack shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. We make food and deliver it to families in need, we gather offerings to bless the less fortunate. But it was suggested to me by my girls that perhaps this month needs to be a time to look up, to stay home, to fill up on the promise of peace that I found in Isaiah. "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of this greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this." (Isaiah 9:6-7)
It doesn't seem right to sit back at this time of year, to rest and reflect when I know many others will take this opportunity to get out and give back. Unless, of course, one has spent the past 11 months giving and sharing and opening one's home and practicing what we preach at Christmastime. Everyone needs rest at some point, a chance to fill up and reflect, so that we can overflow once more. So I've spent today thinking about the things that make me excited about Christmas. What can overpower the gloom in my heart and give me hope?
1. The Bible: I'm excited to start my Advent Bible study online. I want to read the words that have remained true and powerful over the past few millennia. I want to be reminded that Jesus is my Lord and worthy of my adoration.
2. The decorations: It's hard to feel like Scrooge with sparkly decorations around the house, a tree in the living room displaying the ornaments that my kids have made at school, the stockings awaiting the candy and treats that will fill them on Christmas morning.
3. The movies: There are certain movies that I save for this time of year, and it keeps them special to setting my holiday mood. I've never seen White Christmas, and I don't get why everyone seems to like A Christmas Story. (Sorry, lovers of "classics".) We have already enjoyed Elf and Love Actually, and I hope to see them more in the coming weeks. But my favorite Christmas movie has been a tradition that was born out of necessity. Eleven years ago, just a few months shy of my wedding day, I was living with my parents and Chris had moved into the apartment we would share as newlyweds. Then an ice storm knocked out my parents' power on Christmas Eve, and we crowded into our little apartment living room for the weirdest sleepover ever. We wanted to watch something Christmas-y, and Chris scanned through his movie collection, eventually holding up the one we would watch each year: Die Hard. So these are the movies that remind me why I love this time of year.
4. The food: Maybe it's a shallow thing, but there are certain tastes and foods that make Christmas special. One is Peppermint Mocha coffee. I'm sipping some as I type this, and the warmth I feel as a result is not just from the drink. The boys and I have begun planning which cookies we'll make, and I'm reminded how much I love to bake and share treats with the people who love me well throughout the year.
5. The music: I always seem to forget that good music can lift my mood like nothing else. I will grow increasingly grumpy and tired throughout the day, and then Chris will come home and put on a Spotify playlist while we play with the kids or prepare dinner, and I feel my body lighten and a smile stretching across my face. So part of my reflection this year will be listening to Pentatonix and Mariah Carey and the Nutcracker Suite.
I've already felt a lift in my heart this morning, as I've sought rest and taken focus off all the brokenness. A quiet morning at home watching Fantasia and reading Isaiah and holding my friend's baby while sipping coffee and eating cheesy grits have filled me more than running errands and trying to solve the world's problems. And so I encourage you to make your own list. What reminds you of the good at Christmas? What fills your heart with peace and reminds you of all your blessings? What can shift your focus from the hurt to the Holy? Who will give you permission to rest amidst the chaos?
I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May 2015 end with each of us finding fulfillment.
No comments:
Post a Comment