March 30, 2007: I woke after only 2 hours of sleep, got a shower and did my hair. Then Chris and I got in our car and drove to Mercy Hospital to become parents for the first time. I was excited and nervous, I remember rubbing my belly in the shower and asking my baby if he was ready to meet us. We got checked in and had all the c-section preliminaries done, and were joined throughout the process by my mom and dad and my mother-in-law, who gave me great advice about which route to take to numb my body. Right as I was being wheeled down to the OR, my sister came in with a tray of goodies, which I couldn't eat yet, but gave me a kiss and a good luck wish. Once everything was in place on the operating table, the doctor started the procedure, and I wondered if I would know when they pulled my baby out. Not to worry, there was no pain but tremendous pressure on my abdomen, and then suddenly my little boy's cries filled the room, and they held him over the fluid splattered curtain to show me James. He was tiny, covered in waxy vernix and amniotic fluid, and squirming and crying at the "cold" room and bright lights. They told me his feet were pressed against his ears when they opened me up, and he had little Spock ears for a week, until they finally curled under. He was 6lbs 15oz and 18 inches long. I had expected that he would be bigger, since I was at full-term, but he soon outgrew the tiny preemie clothes he wore that first week, and then continued to grow and need new sizes every few months! He also latched on for breastfeeding right away, and was a wonderful eater from the start. He's not such a big fan of trying new foods these days (unless it comes in a bright shiny wrapper) but he always has a healthy appetite.
Becoming a mom changed my life. It has taken me in directions that I never could have seen, and never thought I would do well. During my pregnancy, I kept saying that we wouldn't have any more kids, because the experience felt terrible, but looking at James' tiny face and pursed lips in my hospital room made me want to do it all over again. Things I would never want to forget: the feeling of him leaving my body, the closeness we experienced during breastfeeding, the first time I heard him laugh, then the first time he laughed at something on tv (an episode of Pink Panther), feeling pressure from his arm and realizing that he was hugging me back, every time he fell asleep in my arms and let me cuddle him (including this past weekend), watching him learn to walk, feed himself, dress himself, talk, use the Wii, the dvd player, the iPhone, the computer, light switches, doors, a flashlight, the way he would rub my pregnant belly and kiss his future brother, the way he smiles, the way he laughs when he's being tickled or sees something really funny, the first time he counted to ten and when he learned the alphabet. In just 4 short years we have experienced all of those things, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for my special boy. I love you James!
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