2018: A Year of Renewal

No school + lots of snow = Sledding!

January is coming to an end.  The daylight is finally starting to lengthen, and 23 degrees doesn't feel quite so chilly.  The kids are back in school, the threat of snow days mostly behind us.  It's the beginning of a new year, and it's given me a chance to reflect.  A few years ago, I started choosing a "word" for the year, something to encapsulate all I hoped to accomplish in the coming months, a simple focal point to set the tone.  It was helpful as I started incorporating healthier practices, as life shifted with growing kids, as I worked towards making dreams a reality.

For 2017, I chose a phrase.  "Don't let fear hold you back."  It wasn't quite the same thing as brave, or courageous, definitely not synonymous with fearless.  It was a personal kick in the pants to finally STOP hiding out, to FOLLOW THROUGH even when (or especially when) it was scary, to be unapologetically tenacious.  As a result, 2017 was a year of new things.  I joined a writer's group and read my fiction out loud, in public, to a group of people who critiqued words that have previously been shared only with a trusted few.  I went to Washington, D.C. and advocated for Pancreatic Cancer patients, sitting down with my representatives (or their much younger aides).  I walked into my local YWCA and sat down with women I didn't know, shared a meal each month with ladies from different walks of life than my own.  I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and wrote 49,722 words of a brand new book.  I did a Whole30 diet and managed to go without pop for 39 days, my longest stretch since I was pregnant.  When I look back, I am not the same person I was 13 months ago.  But with all the additions and challenges and new experiences, some really good things got lost.

When I recently went back to my blog posts from 2016, looking for something I was sure I'd written back then, I felt like I was reading the words of someone else.  Not a bolder person, but a more disciplined person.  I used to prioritize running, and drinking water, and reading books.  I used to make space weekly (if not daily) to pray and listen and be still.  I used to focus on areas and rooms in my house and work to declutter them.  I used to sit down with my computer and pound out my thoughts in this somewhat public space.  With all the new additions of 2017, some old things had crept in as well.  Stuff I don't much care for, stuff I'd worked to get rid of.

A few weeks ago, I made space for quiet for the first time in I don't know how long, and this is what I drew:

New isn't always better.  With everything I added to my life, I overlooked the most important thing of all--the state of my heart.  Good things that had been priorities fell out of place, and I've suffered because of it.  That's why my word for 2018 is RENEWAL.  I want to renew my commitment to things that bring me joy and nourish my soul.  I want to renew my priorities each day, focusing on my health and the health of my family, and working toward a targeted goal.  I want to clean up rooms in my house that have reverted to their cluttered state.  I want to exercise a few times a week and feel strong inside my body again.  I want to run a 5k in less than 30 minutes!  I want to make time to read books and spend less time on mindless computer games or scrolling through Facebook.  I want to make space for prayer and quiet.  I want to drink more water, and stop craving Coke when I'm stressed.  I want to sell a novel and finish two more.  I want to travel with my family more, trying new things as my kids grow and change.  I don't want to let good things slip by while I'm looking at something else.  And I certainly don't want to read these words in January 2019 and feel as though my heart has withered and broken even more.

Here's to returning to what works, to renewal in 2018, to accomplishing hard things.  Happy New Year!

Ringing in the New Year 2018